How to Make a Domestic Violence Safety Plan

Safety note: If you are in immediate danger, call 911. To speak with a crisis advocate 24 hours a day, call (844) 525-0160. If possible, use a safe device to search for help or make plans, because an abusive person may monitor your phone, internet activity, location, messages, accounts, or social media.

What is a safety plan and how do I make one? A safety plan is a personal, practical plan for reducing risk during abuse, while preparing to leave, after leaving, or whenever you need support. Core elements include identifying safer places and trusted people, preparing important items, protecting children and digital accounts, and knowing where to get confidential help. A safety plan is not one-size-fits-all—it should fit your circumstances and prioritize what is safest for you.

Celebrate Forever Families advocates help survivors across Kaufman, Henderson, and Van Zandt counties build personalized safety plans. You do not have to make every decision at once, and you do not have to do it alone. An advocate can listen, help you consider options, and support you without judgment or pressure.

1. Start With What Feels Safest Right Now

A safety plan can begin with one simple question: What would help me be safer today? The answer may be different depending on whether you are still living with the abusive person, planning to leave, recently separated, or worried about someone else’s safety.

Think about situations that tend to increase danger. Does conflict become worse when the person has been drinking, when money is discussed, when you try to leave a room, or when they believe they are losing control? Recognizing patterns can help you plan ahead.

If violence begins or you believe it may begin, focus on getting to a safer place rather than trying to reason with the abusive person. If you can, move toward an exit and away from rooms where there may be weapons or where you could become trapped, such as a kitchen, bathroom, garage, or small enclosed space.

2. Identify Safer Places in and Around Your Home

While you are still in the home, it can help to think through where you could go during an argument or emergency. Choose locations with an exit, a phone, and fewer potential hazards when possible.

Know your exits. Notice doors, windows, stairways, and pathways you could use if you need to leave quickly.
Keep your phone accessible. If it is safe, keep it charged and in a place you can reach. Consider memorizing important phone numbers in case you cannot access your contacts.
Plan a place to go. This may be a trusted neighbor’s home, a friend or family member, a public location, a law enforcement agency, or another safe place.
Choose a code word. A simple word or phrase can let a trusted person know that you need help without explaining everything.
Practice discreetly. If it is safe to do so, think through how you would leave without drawing attention to your planning.

Your plan should never require you to take risks that could make the situation more dangerous. If an abusive person closely watches your movements, an advocate can help you identify safer alternatives.

3. Build a Small Emergency Bag, If It Is Safe

Preparing important items can make an emergency less overwhelming. You may not be able to take everything, and that is okay. Your safety matters more than belongings.

If safe, consider keeping a small bag somewhere the abusive person will not find it, leaving it with someone you trust, or making a list of items you would need quickly. Helpful items may include:

Identification, birth certificates, Social Security cards, and immigration documents
Medication, prescriptions, glasses, and necessary medical supplies
Keys, a spare key, cash, bank information, and a prepaid card if available
Important phone numbers written on paper
Clothing and comfort items for you and your children
School, childcare, insurance, legal, housing, and vehicle documents

Do not put yourself in danger to collect documents or belongings. An advocate can help you consider what is most important and discuss resources that may be available after you leave.

4. Make a Plan for Children

Children can be affected by domestic violence even when they do not see every incident. A safety plan can include age-appropriate ways to help them understand what to do during a dangerous situation.

Teach children that their job is to stay safe. They do not need to intervene, break up an argument, or protect an adult.
Choose a safe place. Identify a room, neighbor’s home, or other location where they can go if conflict escalates.
Practice a code word. Use a word that means they should go to the agreed-upon safe place or call a trusted adult.
Help them know how to call 911. Teach them their address, if appropriate for their age, and remind them to call only when it is safe.
Tell a trusted adult when needed. A school counselor, teacher, childcare provider, family member, or advocate may be able to offer support.

Try not to ask children to keep secrets that make them feel responsible for adult safety. Instead, reassure them that the abuse is not their fault and that there are adults who can help.

5. Think About the Safest Time to Leave

Leaving an abusive relationship can be a time of increased danger because the abusive person may react strongly when they feel control is slipping. That does not mean you cannot leave. It means a thoughtful plan can be especially important.

There is no universally “safe” moment to leave. A safer opportunity may be when the abusive person is away from home, at work, asleep, or otherwise unable to interfere. Some people leave with help from trusted loved ones, law enforcement, or an advocate. Others need to leave quickly with only essential items.

Avoid telling the abusive person about plans to leave if you believe that conversation could increase risk. Consider who needs to know, where you will go, how you will get there, and how you can protect your privacy after leaving.

Celebrate Forever Families can connect survivors with support through Case Management & Safety Planning and discuss options for Emergency Shelter. Support is available whether you are ready to leave now, considering options, or simply trying to understand what is happening.

6. Protect Your Digital Safety

Phones, email, shared accounts, smart devices, vehicle systems, and social media can all be used to monitor someone. Digital safety is an important part of a domestic violence safety plan.

Use a safer device when possible. A library, workplace, trusted friend’s home, or other device may be safer than a shared phone or computer.
Review location-sharing settings. Check maps, family-sharing apps, social media, photo settings, and connected devices—but avoid sudden changes if you think they could alert the abusive person.
Use private contact methods. Consider a new email address or a trusted person’s phone only if doing so is safe.
Change passwords carefully. Use strong, unique passwords and update recovery information when it is safe to do so.
Document abuse only if it is safe. Save threatening messages, photos, voicemails, or dates of incidents in a secure location if that will not increase danger.

An advocate can help you think through technology risks and make a plan that does not unintentionally put you at greater risk.

7. Choose People You Can Contact

Isolation is common in abusive relationships, but you do not have to carry this alone. Choose one or two people who are trustworthy, calm, and unlikely to share your information with the abusive person. Let them know what kind of help would be useful.

You might ask someone to keep a spare bag, provide transportation, answer a code-word text, watch children during an appointment, or call for help if they hear a specific signal. Be clear that they should not confront the abusive person on your behalf, because that could increase risk.

8. Remember That a Safety Plan Can Change

A safety plan is not a contract, and it does not have to be perfect. Your needs may change as your living situation, finances, children’s needs, legal concerns, or level of danger changes. You can revisit your plan at any time.

Most importantly, remember this: the abuse is not your fault. You deserve to be safe, believed, and supported. Help is available even if you are unsure what to do next.

Build Your Plan With Support

Celebrate Forever Families serves survivors throughout Kaufman, Henderson, and Van Zandt counties with compassionate, confidential support. To build a personalized safety plan with a Celebrate Forever Families advocate, call (844) 525-0160, available 24 hours a day.